The 26-Hour Day

I woke up this morning with anxiety. I’m missing one of my favorite days of the year at home; closing day of the ski season at Schweitzer. I couldn’t get the images out of my mind; my friends, and all the locals out on the sunny slopes, stopping for beer at the shack at the top, listening to music, skiing, and celebrating the last hurrah.

I could have been there but I chose not to go. So why dwell on it?

And the thing is, I could have approached that whole waking up thing differently:  I woke up this morning, and its 66 degrees at 7:30 am, on it’s way to 83. I made my coffee and went up to the rooftop deck for the first time. The lounge chairs were out and the view of sparkling Lake Michigan was gorgeous. My arms and legs hadn’t felt fresh air in more than 6 months.

I finally caught up on some reading.

I read Steff Metal’s guest post on Shonali Burke‘s blog, Waxing Unlyrical where I was  moved to tears as I was reminded to remember what really matters in life. And just as quickly, I was reminded about finding an opportunity to be happy and to learn from every lesson and curve that life throws us over  at Rambling Tart .

I decided after I post this, I’ll head over to one of my favorite food blog’s – maybe The Dinner Files, or Mark Bittman or 101 Cookbooks and I’ll pick something wonderful to cook on this first day of real spring. I’ll make another cup of coffee, have a quiet day of writing, biking and cooking.

And remember that I’m here now and here now is wonderful.

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We debate the definition of sausage on skype chat. We have a dinner war on facebook, we kiss each other goodnight on facetime. We say good morning every single morning via text. Sometimes, we even video skype and work, without talking. It just makes us feel together.

We tried skyping with the dogs but Jackson started to freak out when he heard my voice. So we stopped. Also they can’t see me.

Patrick said, “That’s because they aren’t elephants. They can’t see in color.” This made me laugh hysterically and I don’t buy it for a second.

These are the things we do to compensate for our now long distance relationship. I don’t recommend it, but I know there are a LOT of us out there who are doing it, have done it, or will have to do it at one time or another.

It doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Outside of the technology, which is saving my sanity, there are other things I do to make it bearable –

I make food that I know he doesn’t like. (he’s doing the same thing at home, trust me) He’s making chicken wings, duck, steak and I’m making dark leafy greens, brown rice, salmon and garbanzo beans.

I’ve been catching up on Sex and the City, I watched Cher in Burlesque, and cringed at Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia.

Nothing replaces being with my best friend every day in and out. Nothing, but here we are, on a path we chose together, and we make of it what we can.

We create ground rules –

1. You can’t sign off skype chat without explaining where you are going
2. We are the last person we text with each night and the first person in the morning
3. There are some days when we aren’t able to video chat, and we make that allowance, but agree we can’t make it habit.

Because we are both putting in a great daily effort to make time to communicate and share, we’ve created a deeper bond, and realized we’ve been taking some pretty simple things for granted. Like sitting together and having dinner.

Last week he sent me a picture of the dogs smiling at him. But I noticed the coat hanging over the railing which used to drive me nuts. Funny, now those things don’t matter anymore. But just in case he was feeling sad and missing me? I responded to the email:

Hey, why is that coat hanging on the railing?

We do what we have to do. Don’t take your spouse/partner for granted.

Have you ever done the long-distance thing? What things did you do to cope?

PS, thanks to the Cheerful Curmudgeon for the image:

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aasgard pass from colchuck lake by Sean Munson

There I was, alone in the middle of the Alpine Lakes Wilderness in Washington State. I was perched on a ledge, negotiating my next step as I scrambled up the steep and rocky Aasgard Pass. The lake was straight down below me and the ridge top straight up above me. Six miles into my 18-mile trail run, I had fallen behind my trail running companions. My radio wasn’t working, or possibly I was just so far back from them I was out of range. There was no designated trail in this section and my only hope and prayer was to arrive at the ridge top and find the trail again. I was um, panicked, to say the least. At that moment, as I started to snivel, I remember thinking to myself:

“Why? Why? can’t I just be happy spending weekends sitting on the couch watching TV?”

Are you with me here? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just be happy doing the status quo? Taking the path of least resistance? Do we really have to push ourselves to fear and risk to get somewhere?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do on thing every day that scares you.”

Well, I’m doing as told. I’ve got that feeling again; that shaky blend of excitement and fear as I prepare to exit my comfort zone.

I am very excited to join my friend and colleague Gini Dietrich, and Megan Beausang and the rest of the team at Arment Dietrich and Spin Sucks to launch the super top secret Project Jack Bauer. Go here and sign up to be the first to know what it is. I’m honored to be asked. I’m downright giddy about the project, the work I’ll be doing, and the women I’ll be working with.

My role as CEO of Big Leap Creative will only change for the better. I now have a great group of smart and creative people I will be working with. I will have more resources to provide my clients. We have a broader base of knowledge and greater pool of creativity. Oh, brainstorming sessions, how I’ve missed you!

However, I’ve got the puke bag at the ready.

Because I’m coming out of the woods, so watch out Chicago. I’m shaving my legs and leaving the mountains. I will temporarily relocate, and travel back and forth. Yes, I worry myself sick about leaving my best friend/husband and my fur-babies. I am so fortunate, and thank him for his total and amazing support. Sometimes we just have to take opportunities when they land in our lap otherwise we’ll always wonder what would have been….

I met Gini a year and half ago at Counselors’ Academy PRSA in Palm Springs. We hit it off right away when I discovered she had pre-arranged to have a road bike rental delivered to her hotel room. She was sneaking out early mornings for bike rides in the mountains surrounding us, for gods sakes! and I was out running in the 100-degree heat! She won that one. But thank goodness neither one of us is competitive at all. (Cough, cough) Regardless, I am totally excited to join forces with her, because we both aim for global domination and I always thought one of us was going to have to kill the other to achieve it. Fortunately, I think we’ve found a way to avoid that.

Enchanting descent to the finish

So back to that trail run. I let myself cry and freak out. For about 5 minutes. Then I pulled it together and I kept climbing. I told myself to stop the worrying and negative thoughts. I climbed, and reached the ridge top, and there before my eyes was a rock cairn marking the trail. In hindsight, I don’t know what I was so worried about! My reward was a continued, easy descent 12 miles through enchantingly beautiful alpine meadows and lakes down to the finish where my friends were all waiting for me. (for kind of awhile) I did it – it was awesome. Felt like I was living with intention.

I know that’s how this story will end up. But do we always have to carry a puke bag as we move into the next chapter?

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I know I promised to blog more in a recent post. But I’m also a big fan of a balanced life and my client work has taken priority, as well as playing in all this amazing snow with my husband and dogs, so my blog has suffered. In my defense, I have done two speaking engagements since that last post, so I’m tackling some of the list. I swear!!

Today, I am re-purposing a guest post I wrote for Travel Writers’ Exchange written to travel writers but also useful to PR as well. If you read it there, this is an exact copy. It generated great discussion and in the interest of keeping my blog somewhat close to current, I’ll use it here today. I look forward to your comments, as always.

Trust me, I am not the type of person that dots my I’s with hearts and smiley faces. And I find the song “Don’t’ Worry Be Happy” to be incredibly annoying. But I do believe in happiness and the pursuit thereof. I do believe in our inherent right to have fun, and enjoy life.

You’re a travel writer. I’m guessing you agree with that, and love what you do. I am in PR, own my own business and as it turns out, I too, love what I do.

I declined a potential travel writer visit this past week because I could foretell that she would disturb my happy place. And I wanted to share that here.

A writer approached me and my client requesting a media visit explaining the story they were interested in, and the name of the outlet. Nothing else. Of course I Googled the name of the writer and the name of the magazine, neither of which turned up much.

The magazine’s website had empty pages on it. A twitter account had less than 100 followers and no interactivity. A LinkedIn account had no profile filled out and I couldn’t find a website.

I responded asking the obvious questions looking for more information on the outlet with circulation numbers, distribution, and geographic info, clips and oh, perhaps a website or blog? The response was, “..I’ve been doing this for 12 years and am surprised because other PR people don’t have a problem finding information on me. Did you consider Googling my name?”

Thank you but no thank you.

And I don’t care who you write for. I just don’t see this working out between us even if I do bend over backwards (which is my tendency) to work with you.

I did eventually get clips and determine this person to be legitimate. But this conversation is only the beginning of a lengthy working relationship, which under normal circumstances is an enjoyable and productive one.

What would you have done in my position? In this day and age is there any excuse not to have a website, blog and/or complete LinkedIn profile with links to writing samples? More importantly, wouldn’t it make sense, upon approaching me, to have thoughtfully put together a pitch that includes all the information (or links) to help me counsel my clients to a good decision? That’s what I do when I approach writers.

This particular writer seemed to think that the typical things I look for when I’m screening writers for my client didn’t matter (You know, influence, audience, etc). Our initial encounter demonstrated a lack of… I don’t know, respect? Understanding of MY needs? Will this be further amplified as we continue the process?

Don’t even get me started about the crazy things and requests that happen on press trips.

I’m talking about managed expectations all the way around on what our roles are in the pr/writer relationship.

97% Nice Guy/Gal Rule (nice vs. being a jerk)

I don’t like to complain. I chalk this story up to the 3% Jerk Rule. I see the glass as more than half full (thus the section heading).

I love it when we kick ass together and make each other look good. You have an editor and/or a readership that you answer to, and I have a client that I answer to. Mutual understanding of our respective business models gets us so much more out of life.

Such as the time I received an email the day after I dropped everything to help someone on deadline saying “Thank you so much, I really enjoy working with you,” or when my friend Kara sent me a clip from Everyday with Rachael Ray that included my client with a note that said the only reason its in there is “because of social media and because (I’m) cool”……or when my client is ecstatic because I helped to get them in front of a new audience. This is a way better high than opening the envelope with the check in it. I could get a check for doing any number of jobs. I choose this one for a reason.

As it turns out, I think you do too.

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